So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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