dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
