So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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