Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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