why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
