Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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