If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so let's talk penis.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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