Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
