FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
