Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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