hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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