We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
