In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
