I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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