I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
