I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
