Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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