i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
