I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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