HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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