everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
