I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
