he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
