That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
