Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
