So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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