I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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