I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
