Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
is wine microwaveable?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
