she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
