We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize