I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
