my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
