so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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