Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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