I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
