So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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