Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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