Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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