the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
