Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
