I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
