I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
