A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
