My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize