I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
