Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
