Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
