woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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