My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
