He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
