He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
