and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
