I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
