You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
