Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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