its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
